Lucky Breaks
When we first listed our house for sale, of course we wondered What if someone buys this thing up right away for top dollar? Wouldn't that be great? We don't usually get lucky like that, and we knew it was a long shot. Especially living way out here, where everything takes months to sell. We weren't disappointed at all when it didn't turn out that way.
Fast forward over four months and my feelings about this whole thing have gone in every possible direction and to every extreme and back. Lately, I've found myself in a comfortable zone of giving up control over the situation and just letting it be for now. We are well into September, the temperature is starting to dip (just a little), and we are quickly approaching my favorite time of year. There's no point in wasting time being grumpy about something that's largely out of my hands.
And with this new perspective, I've been able to feel some deep gratitude for all the good things that have happened to me. This year, so far, has brought us some disappointment and a lot of crazy emotions, but things have been worse. When Gavin was just a brand new baby, Dylan got a new job. It was a great job. We were so excited! But that meant he had to go to Dallas to train on a new airplane for 20 days when Gavin was 9 weeks old.
My hormones were wild, my emotions were crazy, my baby never stopped crying, and I've never felt so alone in my whole life than I did during November of 2013. Even to this day, I can't think too much about that time of my life because it makes me very, very sad. What we didn't know at the time was that his three weeks away at training was just the kick-off to a very grueling year.
The airplane that Dylan flew that year was on charter, and it ended up being the busiest year in the history of that operation. He was constantly getting called to fly long trips on short notice, and it was almost always over the weekend. He was always on call with no time off, so we could never make plans to do anything.
I went back to work shortly after Dylan came home from training, and I was showing up to my shifts on about three hours of sleep. The baby hardly slept and constantly cried, and everything was completely out of control. I was an anxious mess, fueled solely on adrenaline and caffeine. I have no idea how everything didn't fall apart on us that year. It was the hardest year of my life. And I only say "hardest" because that sounds better than "worst," but if we're being honest, it was the worst year of my life. I have never felt so defeated and exhausted and so completely alone.
Dylan's job was a "good job." He was in it for the long haul. There wasn't supposed to be something better out there for him to pursue, and we had no reason to hope that anything would change. After that first year passed, though, things slowed down a lot on the charter operation. Dylan was still on call, but he wasn't away from home nearly as much. Gavin was a little bit older and cried a little bit less, and life settled down just a bit. I was still a rattled mess, and I still am, but life was easier. We were all so relieved to be able to come up for air. It remained difficult to make plans for any reason, and when Dylan did travel, it almost always ruined our weekends. But after coming off of that first year, we were okay with that.
A few more months passed, and I was just about due with Graham, our second baby. We were in the car one afternoon when Dylan received a random text about an opportunity to fly a different company's airplane for a contract trip. As he dug a little deeper, he realized that the second pilot on the airplane had left, and they needed somebody to fill the seat. Dylan felt like he was unqualified for the job, but a few more weeks passed after that first contract trip, and the lead pilot was back in touch with him.
Still believing it to be a long shot for him to land a position on that airplane, he agreed to some interviews with the lead pilot and the boss of the company. And then, on the day I gave birth to Graham, while I was in labor at the birth center, Dylan got a call firming up the details of the job. He was offered the position just a few days later.
He would be flying the same type of jet, so he would not have to leave for training. Furthermore, the plane was not on charter, and it was only flown for business. So, he would hardly ever fly on weekends...and even better, he would know his schedule in advance. The job was heaven sent. It was a serious intervention from God, and it rescued us. I'm pretty sure that if we had to endure another grueling year on the chartered airplane that it would have sunk our family.
Dylan only gets a rare pop-up trip and sometimes has to deal with last-minute maintenance issues, but for the most part, we can live our lives like normal people. He can ask for time off if we need to travel, and we get to spend most weekends together as a family. Handling two small kids on my own during the week while he's on a trip is no easy thing. I'm still an anxious mess, but sometimes I forget how good we really do have it.
This week, as I've decided to change my perspective on how slowly things are progressing with my mission to sell this house, I've been reflecting on Gavin's first year and how hard that was. This obstacle right now pales in comparison to that time of my life. Really, it's just a little speed bump. We'll sell this house. It might take a few more months, and we might not get as much for it as we had hoped. Maybe we won't end up in a really great house once we move...but at some point my mission will be complete, and we will live somewhere closer into town. It won't be a story that unfolds real neatly, and we probably won't have any miracles fall in our lap to tie up the deal. It's going to take some more time and patience, and it will probably be difficult and kind of disappointing. But we will get there.
God came in and saved our family when he brought us Dylan's current job. That was a miracle. Maybe things aren't happening so easily for us right now, but we are in a much better place than we were just a few years ago. Something good has already happened to our family, and if that's the one good thing we get...well, I'll take it over selling this house. Not everything comes easily or without some effort or pain or disappointment because that is just how life is. We'll come out of this experience stronger and more resilient and more grateful and happy than we would have been if it happened easily for us. Enduring hardship is what shapes people and makes us good and whole and stronger and better. I have a lot more wrinkles on my face than I did just four years ago, and I look wrecked just about every day, but I'm pretty sure that I'm at least five times better as a person than I was before I had kids. We've hit a little speed bump on the road of life, but we have had and will have worse. We just have to get over it and move forward and see it as a learning and growing experience.
Fast forward over four months and my feelings about this whole thing have gone in every possible direction and to every extreme and back. Lately, I've found myself in a comfortable zone of giving up control over the situation and just letting it be for now. We are well into September, the temperature is starting to dip (just a little), and we are quickly approaching my favorite time of year. There's no point in wasting time being grumpy about something that's largely out of my hands.
And with this new perspective, I've been able to feel some deep gratitude for all the good things that have happened to me. This year, so far, has brought us some disappointment and a lot of crazy emotions, but things have been worse. When Gavin was just a brand new baby, Dylan got a new job. It was a great job. We were so excited! But that meant he had to go to Dallas to train on a new airplane for 20 days when Gavin was 9 weeks old.
My hormones were wild, my emotions were crazy, my baby never stopped crying, and I've never felt so alone in my whole life than I did during November of 2013. Even to this day, I can't think too much about that time of my life because it makes me very, very sad. What we didn't know at the time was that his three weeks away at training was just the kick-off to a very grueling year.
The airplane that Dylan flew that year was on charter, and it ended up being the busiest year in the history of that operation. He was constantly getting called to fly long trips on short notice, and it was almost always over the weekend. He was always on call with no time off, so we could never make plans to do anything.
I went back to work shortly after Dylan came home from training, and I was showing up to my shifts on about three hours of sleep. The baby hardly slept and constantly cried, and everything was completely out of control. I was an anxious mess, fueled solely on adrenaline and caffeine. I have no idea how everything didn't fall apart on us that year. It was the hardest year of my life. And I only say "hardest" because that sounds better than "worst," but if we're being honest, it was the worst year of my life. I have never felt so defeated and exhausted and so completely alone.
Dylan's job was a "good job." He was in it for the long haul. There wasn't supposed to be something better out there for him to pursue, and we had no reason to hope that anything would change. After that first year passed, though, things slowed down a lot on the charter operation. Dylan was still on call, but he wasn't away from home nearly as much. Gavin was a little bit older and cried a little bit less, and life settled down just a bit. I was still a rattled mess, and I still am, but life was easier. We were all so relieved to be able to come up for air. It remained difficult to make plans for any reason, and when Dylan did travel, it almost always ruined our weekends. But after coming off of that first year, we were okay with that.
A few more months passed, and I was just about due with Graham, our second baby. We were in the car one afternoon when Dylan received a random text about an opportunity to fly a different company's airplane for a contract trip. As he dug a little deeper, he realized that the second pilot on the airplane had left, and they needed somebody to fill the seat. Dylan felt like he was unqualified for the job, but a few more weeks passed after that first contract trip, and the lead pilot was back in touch with him.
Still believing it to be a long shot for him to land a position on that airplane, he agreed to some interviews with the lead pilot and the boss of the company. And then, on the day I gave birth to Graham, while I was in labor at the birth center, Dylan got a call firming up the details of the job. He was offered the position just a few days later.
He would be flying the same type of jet, so he would not have to leave for training. Furthermore, the plane was not on charter, and it was only flown for business. So, he would hardly ever fly on weekends...and even better, he would know his schedule in advance. The job was heaven sent. It was a serious intervention from God, and it rescued us. I'm pretty sure that if we had to endure another grueling year on the chartered airplane that it would have sunk our family.
Dylan only gets a rare pop-up trip and sometimes has to deal with last-minute maintenance issues, but for the most part, we can live our lives like normal people. He can ask for time off if we need to travel, and we get to spend most weekends together as a family. Handling two small kids on my own during the week while he's on a trip is no easy thing. I'm still an anxious mess, but sometimes I forget how good we really do have it.
This week, as I've decided to change my perspective on how slowly things are progressing with my mission to sell this house, I've been reflecting on Gavin's first year and how hard that was. This obstacle right now pales in comparison to that time of my life. Really, it's just a little speed bump. We'll sell this house. It might take a few more months, and we might not get as much for it as we had hoped. Maybe we won't end up in a really great house once we move...but at some point my mission will be complete, and we will live somewhere closer into town. It won't be a story that unfolds real neatly, and we probably won't have any miracles fall in our lap to tie up the deal. It's going to take some more time and patience, and it will probably be difficult and kind of disappointing. But we will get there.
God came in and saved our family when he brought us Dylan's current job. That was a miracle. Maybe things aren't happening so easily for us right now, but we are in a much better place than we were just a few years ago. Something good has already happened to our family, and if that's the one good thing we get...well, I'll take it over selling this house. Not everything comes easily or without some effort or pain or disappointment because that is just how life is. We'll come out of this experience stronger and more resilient and more grateful and happy than we would have been if it happened easily for us. Enduring hardship is what shapes people and makes us good and whole and stronger and better. I have a lot more wrinkles on my face than I did just four years ago, and I look wrecked just about every day, but I'm pretty sure that I'm at least five times better as a person than I was before I had kids. We've hit a little speed bump on the road of life, but we have had and will have worse. We just have to get over it and move forward and see it as a learning and growing experience.
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